It Happened During Training
by Sardonic Grin
Summary: COMPLETED. Sephiroth likes the taste of little boys, however, someone is going to take that laying down. RAPE, SUICIDE, inevitable CHARACTER DEATH, annnd Some Shonene Ai. FINALLY UPDATED
1. Unrequited Lust

Authors Note: WARNING: Rape, Suicide! What the effin fuck was I thinking? God knows! Anyway here it is.

Updates: Cats and Dogs- Chapter 2almost done

Cherry Soda Boy- Chapter 12 Almost done

_**It Happened During Training**_

_Chapter One_

_Unrequited Love._

_Thirteen, a very special age, is an age where children start the long, drawn out journey towards adult hood. It's an age where those hard questions that plagued the little minds of eleven and twelve year olds are finally answered. It's when a boy becomes a man, girl becomes a young lady, and all the decisions that you make from here on out will be judged and shape you into the person you become years down the line. This age is very fragile… _

And that is why we choose very efficient generals to train our future SOLIDERS. I am proud to say, that this years General, and Teacher, of the year is…

-

"SEPHIROTH STOP!"

But the blonde's words fell on deaf ears as the honorable general thrust into his tight hole. He cried, and screamed, and clawed the bed, and then he cursed, and bitched, and called him a "Faggot." All attempts were rewarded with a painful thrust and a slap to the back of the head. He enjoyed the thirteen year olds tears and screams; it made him want to keep going. He loved to taste the salty tears when he was finished with his young and reluctant lover, and he enjoyed the child's hate and dependence of him. He even enjoyed the malice in his voice and the conflicted glint in his eyes. Thirteen year olds are always just confused, and that was why Sephiroth loved to rob them of their innocence, and make them completely dedicated to him, and him only. Especially the young boys.

He slowly pulled out of the blonde trainee, finally tired of his turn on. "Get dress," he ordered. The blonde just laid there, curled up in a little ball for protection, weeping very quietly. The honorable general grabbed him by the throat, holding him til their eyes were leveled. The blue orbs screamed for help, help that would never come. The general smiled at the weakness, and gave the boy a hard slap to the face. "I will not tolerate this disobeying orders habit you have gotten into, Mr. Strife." The blond responded with a small nod as he bled from his bottom lip. Sephiroth examined the small bruise, "If anybody asks…"

"I got it during training," the blond interjected with a small whimper.

Sephiroth smiled approvingly, "That's my boy."

He set the blond gently on the evil bed, running his long, dangerous fingers through his student's messy hair, hushing the boy's tears. "Go home now love."

-

I am truly honored that you have bestowed upon me this award. I know so many others, who have been here longer than I, deserve this plaque, but I thank them for giving me a chance to prove my strength, intelligence, and honor. I only hope I can continue training potential SOLIDERS, and watch them grow into amazing young men.

-

The boy sat in his room, in the apartment he shared with the only friend he had made since his admission into this horrid, cursed place. He looked into the mirror, the cuts and bruises all over his face and body were only reminders of the pain he had to endure, every.single.night. He sat like this after his "tutoring session", staring at a new cut on his body, and wondered if he could just go home to his family and Tifa. Then the bastards voice will play in his head on cue, "You can't give up, if you do everyone will think you are weak and pathetic." He made a promise to everyone, that he would become a SOLIDER. But so far, all he had to show for his efforts where the multiplying scars he received during his rendezvous with his teacher/general. This "badges of honor," weren't from training, weren't from hours of running through dirt, climbing up walls, or even sword practice. No, these were scars from…

'Training, I got this at training…'

**Because if you say it enough, you forget what really happened.**

The blond took out a razor…staring anxiously at the newly sharpen blade that held his life.

**Of course not, because his memory, his voice, and his sins will forever haunt you.**

The razor seemed to move on its own, ultimately meeting up with the small flesh that divided it from the little veins that held his blood, his existence.

**Just say it happened while you were training- a lot of people "accidentally" slit their wrist.**

With a fluid motion he slit his small wrist, watching apathetically as the crimson fountain erupted from the long gap. He smiled, he felt his life slowly come to an end- in a few moments it will all be over. No more Sephiroth.

"Cloud….what are you doing." The tremble voice called out to the torn up little boy. He merely turned his head to face raven haired man that stood in the doorway. He held up his broken wrist, and with a strangled voice responded, "I got it….while…I was training."

Then everything went black.


	2. The Rose in a Graveyard

Authors Note: You will be introduced to the other victim, the narrator, and other pretty things.

_**It Happened During Training**_

_Chapter 2_

_The Rose in a Graveyard_

"It's so sad general. A young life stolen."

"He isn't dead yet sir. Zack managed to get to him before he bled to death."

"Still, he will never be the same again."

The president of Shinra- the final say in every decision concerning the SOLIDERS and the Turks- brought the honorable general the sad news; a pupil attempted the kill himself last night, using a standard razor used for shaving to slit his small fragile wrist.

"True," Sephiroth murmured, tapping his desk, "but we will just have to help him through his tough time." His tapping became more rapid as his dark, cold, eyes set their sight on the fiery red head sitting in the back. The President caught the silver haired mans gaze,

"What's he doing here?"

Sephiroth snapped out of his sick and morbidly twisted thoughts, ceasing the annoying tapping, "Oh Mr. Sinclair- he thinks he can talk back to me, so I gave him detention. I made him run ten laps before, now he has to write all the materia and their uses ten times."

"Why ten," the president smiled evilly.

"Why not?" The exchanged a laugh at the red heads expense.

The boy in the back sat quietly, his beautiful green eyes set ablaze with anger, and most of all sadness. He clenched his pen tightly, holding back the urge to stab his "mentor" in the his cursed cock. He mumbled back a song he had heard once to set his anger into the pit of the stomach where it hibernate until the day he uses to kill some innocent person, or even himself. If he had the strength now, he would kill the bastard that took his friend away. The red heads eyes drifted to the general- the movement was unwanted, but not restrained.

**I'll never forget the look in his eyes…**

-

_He walked in from his training, sweaty, smelly, dirty from running around the four laps…and spending the rest of the time being Sephiroth personal sex slave. He needed a shower, he knew Cloud was probably taking one already- hours in the shower just but a pleasant smelly mist on their dirty bodies, but never fully washing away the taste and stench of their cursed general._

"_Reno…"_

_The boy who held that name, shut the apartment door, and glided his green eyes to the raven haired SOLIDER that stood before him. He had a disturbed look on his face, red with tears but stone cold…as a SOLIDER should be. Reno didn't answer the man._

"_Reno…there was an accident…"_

"_He tried to didn't he?"_

_He knew the words that would rain out of his friends mouth, and frankly he just didn't want to hear the sad, sorry news- the one person who could understand him had put a razor to his wrist and tried to end the misery that followed them every night. He wanted to follow his footsteps._

_-_

The older mans hand rubbed the back of the red-hairs neck, causing the boy to growl disapprovingly. The general just smiled at his beautiful pupil, "Fifteen this week Reno? My my, you are coming along well."

"Whatever," Reno spat, continuing his work.

"Now now" Sephiroth cooed, "Lets be respectful here, I am your-"

"You…you caused Cloud to do it!" Reno's green eyes met Sephiroths, spitting fire into them, as his venomous voice lashed out at the older man.

_SNAP_

Sephiroth's hard fist connected with the red heads cheek. The boy tumbled out of the chair, laying on the floor stunned. The man stomped over, grabbing Reno's long red hair, "What did I say?" Reno just stared at him hatefully, trying to hide the trembling that threaten to shake his poor worn out body. Another fist landed on Reno's stomach, this time causing the read head to yelp in pain- this earning a nice stare from his mentor.

Sephiroth brought Reno's trembling face inches from his own, "You are beautiful when you tremble like that." His poisonous lips met with the Reno's who struggled but failed under the mans weight. He laid on top of his and pinned the boys hands down with his own, lunging his sharp tongue into Reno's mouth without permission. The boy squirmed as he attempted to use his weak knees to push the man off of him. He failed like all the other times- Sephiroth was going to take him right there right now.

"Now now little boy, lets try to enjoy it this time."

-

Reno pulled his pants up, shooting daggers at the older man sitting at his desk as if nothing happened- as if he didn't just rape a fifteen year old in the middle of a class room. Sephiroth sat calmly, ignoring the boys hateful glances and aggravated grunts, he just graded papers like any normal teacher would do. Reno growled from the back of the room, clutching his fist until his knuckles turned snow white; that bastard was ignoring him now! After he just plunged his rotten penis into his ass, he had the audacity to sit there and ignore him.

Well Reno wasn't going to stand for that…

He wasn't Cloud.

He stomped over to the desk, pounding his fist on it, "Pay attention to me asshole!" His voice rocked the room and Sephiroth's nerves for a second, but then the general flashed him the evil trademark smile.

"Yes Mr. Sinclair? What can I do for you?" This mind torture was a game the general played with the students he liked most- he knew once a boy at a young age has been chosen to be his lover, the would love to hate him, battle for his attention, and even die to save his honor. It was simple psychology. Reno never had a true stable home, no father to discipline him, a mother who spent all her time raising four children, he became an adult an eleven. He enrolled to become a SOLIDIER at thirteen, two years ago, and instantly caught the silver haired mans attention. The boys attitude was as rare as his beautiful red hair and cold green eyes- it was a mix of hate, malice, a bad attitude around the shell, but if one could crack that shell, you would see a trembling, tortured little boy craving attention. That's what made him Sephiroth's favorite.

"I," he choked from the frustration building up in the pit of his stomach, "I don't feel like being alone."

He could shoot himself for that, and every fiber was telling him to stop walking into that web Sephiroth so delicately planted for him- but he was weak…

**Can't be alone for to long; you would rather have that man take you without much of a fight, than sit in that apartment with all those pretty sharp things.**

Sephiroth's mouth morphed into a sinister smile, "You can stay with me love- I think that would be for the best anyway."

Reno swallowed hard, his eyes flickering like a candle, "Then…let's go."

-

"OW! SON OF A BITCH!"

Reno fell back on the bed out of breath and out of choices. He laid on the generals king size bed, reluctant tears streaming down his face, and trembling from head to toe. He took him, again, harder and faster than all the other times. He said he was "making up" for the lost of Cloud, so Reno had to be punished.

Death seemed like the better choice right about now.

The general covered the naked Reno with a blanket, "I am going to clean myself up now, go to bed." He kissed the boy's cheek, causing Reno's whole body to tense up. Sephiroth disapproved of this action, and smacked him across the face, leaving a bright red mark as a souvenir. "What do we say…?"

Reno shivered, "I got it during training…"

"That's my boy."

The dark villain slithered away from his young prey, into the half lit bathroom across the room. Reno turned to his side, running his thin fingers through his messed up hair- it would have been so easy just to run out and tell someone, anyone, what had just happened. But he knew he wouldn't do it, and even worse Sephiroth knew.

His eyes became heavy, and he felt the distant call of sleep take over his entire body. He didn't want to sleep- he knew if Sephiroth got "in the mood" he would have no qualms taking the boy while he was dead to the physical world.

**Think about something**

But the only thing that would grace his mind was the boy lying in the hospital bed, wishing he would never have to awake in the arms of that general again. Reno started to remember the first time his green orbs had the pleasure of falling on the young blonde.

It was the beginning of the year, and they had sword fighting together with that cursed general. Reno would be lying if he said that the pit in his stomach turned when he saw how Sephiroth was all over his new toy. He even felt good about it, he hoped that the older man would take advantage of the thirteen year old. See how much it hurts to have some MAN pound you like a fuckin piece of meat. Then that night, he walked to Sephiroth's room like a good little dog, and saw the little boy run out of the dark chamber. Tears cascaded from his destroyed blue eyes, he was shaking like a leaf, and mumbling some nonsense on how it was wrong, it was all wrong. Through his eyes Reno saw himself two years ago, that some confused look, the same shattered soul. Something stabbed at his conscience making it bleed when he said that pitiful sight.

The boy ran down the hall, and Reno caught him before he could run out of his sigh. Cloud struggled at first, "Stop Strife," the boy stopped instantly upon hearing the soft coo from the older boy. He saw the dead green eyes, and his young mind understood what this meant- someone else knew. "What do you want to know kid?"

The boy trembled, "Why does it hurt?"

Reno knew all to well what that meant- why did it hurt to do something you had grown to believe was wonderful. Love was wonderful, making love was wonderful, even that small ping of pain the first time your lover is in you, is the most wonderful feeling in the world, but it becomes a dry, bitter, hallow thing when it is performed by a monster. Reno knew a monster laid feet away from him and the trembling boy- a monster fueled by an unquenched lust.

"It hurts because he doesn't love you."

Cloud gripped the red heads wrist tightly, fighting the urge to rip the nearest small animal apart. "He said he loved me…"

"He always says that…and it's always a lie."

The blonde looked into Reno's dull green eyes noticing how much they mirrored how own- alone. He could make a friend out of this, someone who understands…someone who fill up that loneliness.

"He could take my virginity, he could take my innocence, but there is no fuckin way he is taking away my love. That I reserve for someone who deserves it."

Reno's eyes widen at the venomous words that poured out of such a young boys mouth. The event aged him, he began to understand the curses placed on the two boys- the would never again- and he choose to ignore it, fight it to the death. He wouldn't be weakened bu this…or at least he would try not to be. Reno held those words and released Cloud from his grip, "I think this is a start of a beautiful friendship."

Cloud forced a weak smile, "To bad something so ugly formed it."

They went their separate ways- Cloud to the comfort of his small dorm to heal himself emotionally, while Reno walked the long road to hell to face the demon that laid in the bed, naked, waiting for him to do his serving. He kept the words ringing in his head. "He can't take my love, he can't take my love."

Now laying in the cursed room, his best friend laying in a hospital bed, and his words enemy laying next to him, he repeated the words in his head, "He can't take my love…" then he flashed his trademark lopsided smirk to the imaginary man, "because someone else has it."

-

_I never want to leave you again, if that is what you want. This time I am stronger, I am not that scared fifteen year old anymore. I won't let them take you away, not again, not even. If I could erase what happened to us, but keep those weird feelings for each other that spawned from the wreckage of our innocence, I would. But you can't have your cake and eat it to-which is a stupid saying, because goldsmith, I want to eat MY cake- so which do you want: To remember everything, the pain, the hurt, the death, and keep the love you and I shared, or walk away right now, live your life trying to forget everything, including me, and never have to wake up trembling from that reoccurring nightmare. Which is it?_

_-_

I stared at the pitiful shell of a little boy, who had eternity to learn about all the faults and sins of man, and all the pain that comes with that knowledge. Now way was it fair that he had to learn this truth at the mere age of thirteen. But that in the sinners mind is the best age to learn. His victims become devoted to him, despite their mind screaming at them to run away. Then when they become too old, he casts them out like trash, leaving them naked to the world. Some will fall, some will succeed, and most will forget. But I wouldn't forget what he did to me for four years, and what he did to all the boys after and before me. I made a promise that day in the hospital, staring at the lost boy, "He won't get away with this."


	3. Erase Your Love

Chapter 3

Erase Your Love

"_Well does anyone notice, there's a corpse in this bed?"_

Reno's eyes flickered against the candle in his cold, damp room. The absence of the small, warm, body against his skin was sorely missed, and his body- so used to the warmth- refused to indulge in sleep.

_Cloud is sleeping enough for the both of us…_

Tomorrow Reno will be tired, he will be vulnerable, and though he knew this, he wasn't fretting- he wasn't scared like he was two days ago- he just didn't care.

_So are you going to think about him again?_

A little smile crept along his face…

_He is all you think about now._

-

"What is love exactly?"

The sweet voice filled the red heads ears early one morning. It was Sunday, it was two months ago. They had been rooming together since the night Sephiroth stile Clouds innocence; it was Sephiroth's idea, but not shot down by the boys.

"I thought you know," Reno responded groggily, flipping his body so he was laying on his stomach. It was their day off from both training and the general.

"I know," Cloud argued, "I just…"

Cloud stopped- he couldn't form the right words to make a coherent sentence- and he laid next to Reno, his blue eyes getting lost in the forest of green pictured in Reno's own eyes.

"How do I know if I am in love?"

"My mom once told me it is in the kiss," Reno smiled at the lost memory, "How true."

Clouds eyes burned into Reno's, a fire erupting inside his young soul; he wanted to know, the torment was worse than the pain from the general. "Kiss me.."

The red head couldn't count the list of reasons why kissing the younger boy was wrong. He could feel the pull of those negative voices trying to draw him away as he sat up and stared into the eyes of the confused boy. And he knew he was making a mistake when he glided his hand over the soft check, and he knew he didn't care when Cloud closed his eyes and moved into the touch. And he knew he was risking their young lives the moment he pressed his lips against Clouds willing ones, and he knew, in some way, all of this was wrong. He knew…but he didn't care.

"I love you Reno.."

"I love you to."

-

He stared at the clock; he had to be at Sephiroth's office in an hour. His body was so worn out from the last time Sephiroth forced himself upon him.

Why can't I walk away?

--

Punch! You're against the wall, shirtless, your bare body marred with the scars of previous encounters. The man stomps towards you, pushing you body against the wall. "You're late." He punches you in the stomach, blood starts to drip from you mouth. He licks the stain, moaning at the taste of your metallic life force. He yanks your hair and throws you across the room; your stomach against the cold surface. He presses up against you- you can feel his hardness throbbing. You know what comes next and yet still beg him to stop. Salty tears rain from your eyes as he unloving-ly rips off your pants. You feel his cock slam into your tight hole. You scream in pain, "Stop! Please stop!" But he doesn't, he continues to slam into you as he smiles and moans in ecstasy. You try to numb the pain with your thoughts. Mind over matter, mind over matter…

-

"Hey Reno, can I ask you a question?"

"You already did."

You smile coyly linking your fingers with his.

"Why do you want to be a Turk?"

"Well it looks like fun. Why, do you want to enlist when you are eighteen?"

"No…I was just curious…"

-

It is funny- the most insignificant conversations seem so important when you are pinned against the wall.

-

"Please stop crying…" you hold him tightly, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry…"

"Stop saying you're sorry."

You clutch you eyes close, praying it was all a horrible nightmare.

"I'll never do it again."

"You were forced."

"I didn't mean to cum in your mouth."

"He wouldn't let me move."

"Your eyes…you were in so much pain…"

"It felt good…"

"I am just like him!"

"You are nothing like him; you didn't hurt me!"

"Please stop crying…"

"I am not crying," he faces you, his blue eyes torn between pleasure and pain. He touches your face- wet to the touch, "You are."

-

You feel the generals hands roughly move up and down your naked chest. You continue to ignore his demands to scream his name, but he was to engrossed in his pounding to care.

-

He was crying in front of the mirror when you walked in, touching the bruises on his face. You walk to him, staring at your own reflection with the same horror; you are dead.

"You know he is a coward right?"

He stopped crying, " I know."

"And you know I love you, right?"  
You sat behind him, legs extended, pulling him closer. You smell his hair, freshly wash, clean, with the pleasurable scent on strawberries. He links your fingers with his, and you wrap yourselves around this sweet silence that hangs in your room.

"I wish he would die, so there were only you. I would be happier."

"You want me to stop?"

"…I don't know.."

"I'll stop for you."

He pushes himself away from you, turning so you had to look into his eyes. "Why do you have to stop!" he cried, "You make me happy! Not him!"

You place your cold hands on his soft, wet, cheek and stare deeply into his eyes- his sad eyes.

"Cloud…" you start, choking back your own tears of frustration, "your too young…your to young to understand- "

"Understand!" he shouted, "Understand! I grew up a long time ago Reno, I don't need you to baby me!"

Silence. You stare at one another sadly…"We were to young…" He arises from the floor in the bedroom you share, "we can't turn back time…our childhood is as dead as my family."

_--Thirteen is a fragile age for a boy, mess up this age and you could be marred for life. This is exactly why Sephiroth chooses to play with them. They love to hate him, and hate that they cannot break free of the web they are tangled in. You can't understand to much about life and death, hate and love- you may just explode—_

The darkness consumed you and the blonde one, covering you in an un-protective curtain, laid out for whatever villain crept in. You keep your arms tightly wrapped around his thin waist. Cloud was sleeping soundly, his chest slowly rising with every intake of breath. Shouldn't that be enough to convince you he is alive…

_Or do you have to fuck him to know!_

Reno shot up from the lonely bed, a thin layer of cold sweat coaxing his body- it was 12 am.

"No," Reno rubbed his bloodshot eyes and looked at the clock again- 12 am. He flow to the window, and threw up the shade, revealing early darkness covering the entire campus; not even the street lamps illuminated the dark pathways- there was nothing. The last thing he remembered was staring at the flashing clock- screaming 5 am- knowing he would have to be in the office of the general in an hour for his daily "training" session. He was thinking of Cloud…he dreamt about him; he fell asleep.

But there was no way he slept the day away- the alarm would have woken him up, or the horrible scent of the general slithering into his sacred fortress would have snapped him out of any pleasurable dream. This wasn't logical…

"You are just like him…"

Reno swung around, his eyes darting from corner to corner, searching for the owner of the chilling voice. His mouth went dry, his body shivered at the no existent cold, and his muscles felt week. He wasn't thinking straight…hell he could barley keep himself upright- thoughts flooded his mind, pouring down on him in a rush of pain. He heard the screams of people that didn't exist, shouting in terror at an evil he couldn't see. He wanted to throw up. Now he could hear bones cracking, blood gushing, the thumps of people falling to the ground, their corpses but a marred shell of what they were. And fire…

The crackling of fire in the distance, skin melting off, people….no people…every ones dead…

He fell to the floor, clutching his body for protective…what was this?

The voice laughed, "Exactly like him.."

"Sho…sho…show yourself!" Reno ordered.

"I can't….this is how he sees us," the voice started to change, man to woman, to beast, back to man…Reno's head began to swirl, "a disembodied voice."

"Whose he?"

The voice...or voices…laughed harder, "Look into the mirror."

The red heads eyes dances to the mirror…the same one Cloud looked into before he slit his wrist, and there…he saw in the reflection the blonde, crying, hair draped in front of him clinging to the wetness on his face. He looked so fragile, lost, afraid; Reno crawled over to the mirror, and watched the horrible last moments Cloud was awake.

"No Cloud," Reno choked, "No Cloud don't do it…"

Cloud revealed a small razor he had bought just a few hours before. The blade was sharper than a knife, and the small razors shined a dead looking light into the mirror...hypnotizing Reno to looking at it. He watched as the razor brought itself to the tiny wrist of Cloud, and gliding across the flesh, blood leaking out of the fresh wound.

"_It happened during training…"_

The lost image of the boy was drowned and washed away thanks to the blood that covered the mirror. Reno stared at his image, waiting for Cloud to return-just to see him again…even if it was in pain.

"Do you love him?" The voice went down an octave, sending stabbing chills down his spine. He contemplated the answer, the question tumbled around his head, and banged and shattered within his fragile sanity. "Do you love him?" What's love? Love is everything, love is taking the flaws and loving every single one of them. It's wanted to be with that person always, and every second you're without them you're a mess. It's beautiful, it's ugly, but everyone needs it.

Reno shut his young green eyes, "Yes, I love him more than anything."

The room grew colder at the declaration, a feeling of harsh uneasiness washed over him, drowning him in his own conflicted mind. "Then you will help us destroy the evil that killed him."

"What would I have to do?"

A unknown force opened his eyes and manipulated them to focus at an alien image of him- a tall man in slacks, a dress top, jacket, and holding an EMR. His eyes were hallow orbs, mixed with the redness of alcohol…a zombie he was.

"You will have to wash away all weak emotions, except for hatred."

"Why?" he choked.

"So you can kill the general…but remember…if you do this, you could never see Cloud again. It is written in this path, you could never hold him, love him, remember him if you erase all the love you have for him, to succeed in this mission."

Throw away emotion, kill the bastard, but loose the only person who ever understood the pain…or live in weakness and fear forever with the threat of Cloud never waking up.

What would you do..?

-

He held the boy's hand, caressing the soft flesh with his thumb. "You will be okay now." the red head kissed the innocent boy's sleeping lips for the last time. "I'll find a place in this heart for you…"

He released his grip, taking the long walk out of this cold hospital room leaving his emotions as well as his lover behind.

"Are you sure about this?" I said.

"Yes, that bastard has to pay for what he did."

-

_But, if I knew for a second what was really going to happen, I would have chosen a different path…I would have never let you go…_

_Never. _


	4. Mercy Mercy Me

_Authors Note: Wow I haven't updated this one in forever. Well my best friend almost killed me for not updating, so here it is. I don't know how good it is . I hope you all like it!_

_Chapter 4_

_Mercy, Mercy, Me._

_October 9th_

_It was unfair…_

_I stared into the coffee shop window, watching the little teenage brats order their breakfast at the counter. The looked happy, smiling and joking around with their friends. Yeah, they had perfect lives- they woke up with a smile on their face, they lived their lives with careless glee, no in fear, and they felt connected to this world, and the people in it. They were safe. They were protected. Why wasn't I? _

_Someone had to know what Mister Sephiroth was doing to me, and Cloud, and the others who had the luck to be placed in on of his classes. Was everyone really that blind! Did they not see the scars, the dead look in our eyes, or the cold attitude we had towards the world? Or did they just cast the physical scars as just apart of growing up!_

_And why me! _

_Why was I chosen? What did I fuck do to win the great prize of being the generals fuck toy? Haven't I been through enough? With a father who abandoned me, an abusive mother, and no security to keep me safe? Shouldn't I, of all people, been given a break in life! Here I was thinking, "I will do something for the people, I will enroll in SOLIDER, and protect them, even though they never protected me!" And the thanks…the fuckin thanks I get is the abuse…the pilfering of my virginity, the vandalism of my innocence, and most of all…the abandonment…_

_Why did I have to go through this? And not the children in this little coffee shop? What made them…so special?_

_What made me garbage…_

_Maybe this was what Cloud was thinking when he slit his wrist…just give up on it all, run away…because it would be easier than living in fear. Yes, I could do that, easy, and possibly have no regrets…but then I would be a coward. Not that Cloud is, no…he is probably stronger than me, laying in that hospital bed and all…but I couldn't do what he did. I now have a mission, to complete for him. I have to destroy the monster._

"_Hey Reno…"_

_I pulled my eyes away from the happy little picture, and turned to see my mentor, Zack, sitting in one of those black "Shinra" cars. He was somewhat of a SOLIDER, Zack- he was still in training, but they liked him so much, they made him a teacher of sorts. He wasn't that much older than I, but he was still an authority figure…and though we were friends, I resented him some…_

_He had to have known what was going one right? And was he doing anything?_

_Maybe the question is, could he do anything? Probably not with the circumstances._

"_What do you want, Zack," I hissed._

_He wasn't phased by my chilling coldness towards him, "I'll give you a ride to school."_

_But it wasn't school was it? No, it was hell. Simple. But despite that, I took him up on his offer to take me to that cursed place. I had a plan…a way to slay the monster. Don't know if it will work, but it's worth trying._

_I can always try something else if it fails…Sephiroth won't kill me._

_He doesn't have the fuckin balls to._

**Except from Junior Recruit, Reno Sinclair's journal.**

_Destroyed._

It was after school, everyone had gone home to their respective dorms for the night, except the fiery little red head, who sat in back of the generals classroom. He was slowly trying to finish a test on the different types of Materia- and though he knew the material backwards and forwards, he was stalling on purpose. It was all part of his little master plan…

"Mister Sinclair," Sephiroth called from his desk, a sinister smile elegantly dangling on his cold face, "you sure are taking a while to finish…maybe you should have studied some more."

He hung his head, so that the general wouldn't see the sneaky smirk the was dancing across his face. "Over confidence sir…"

"Something we must work on; a SOLIDER can't be over confident."

"Yes…you must get ride of that nasty habit I seemed to have aquired," Reno cooed, causing the generals ears to perk up. It wasn't a tone Reno had used before…he was curious to see what his little pet had up his sleeve- whatever it was…it meant he wasn't going home alone tonight.

But despite the confidence that seemed to be oozing from the red heads mouth, he was anything but fearless. His mind shook with the fear of what he was allowing himself to get into…and every moment he toyed with the general, the more he began to resent himself. He stared desperately at the last question he had to answer…knowing full well his time was up…and with a shaky hand wrote the answer. He cursed silently…and arose from his seat, making a trembling journey to his "mentor's" desk. Sephiroth smiled approvingly when Reno handed him the single white sheet of paper…his eyes glaring with unquenched lust, that burned little holes in Reno's weak ego.

"Very nice, I think I shall grade it now," Sephiroth teased, whipping out the red pen.

Reno swallowed the lump in his throat and walked next to the general, leaning over his shoulder, so his raspy, short, breaths hit the silver mans neck. "I think…I did okay."

"Well we shall see."

Sephiroth didn't seemed phased by Reno's obvious attempt to turn him on, though his cock was saying otherwise. He slowly, and painfully, marked every question, as Reno inched closer to him, until their bodies briefly touched.

"One wrong answer my boy," he smirked, "an easy question too, you should have studied harder."

"Maybe…you should tutor me," he whispered into Sephiroth's ear, his hot breath sending shivers down the mans spine…

"Perhaps, I should take you back to my place, for an intense tutoring lesson?"

Reno's lips when dry, the color quickly drained from his already pale face. He could feel his heart practically jump out of his body, as his knees began to give out on him. He hung on to the courage, though, as if it was the only thing keeping him alive at this point. He swallowed back the unwavering fear, "Very…intense…"

---

Reno laid on the bed, still fully clothed in his uniform, as the general eyed him. The deep silence that had engulfed the room was driving the poor red head up the wall-he wanted to know what Sephiroth's own vile plan was…

He was going to take him, that much was certain…

But from the deep expression plastered on his face, he was up to something.

Finally, after ten grueling minutes, he spoke, in a dry tone, "I am going to get ready in the bathroom, undress, but leave your boxers on…I want to unwrap that part of my present." He walked away, a smirk lingering on his face…sending chills down Reno's spine.

Reno tried to catch his escaping breath- he couldn't believe he was going to go through with this…but it was the only way out…

It was only going to be a couple of seconds…only a few touches…and then he wouldn't have to look into the eyes of that bastard any longer. If a few venomous kisses was all he had to endure, then he accepted his challenge.

Reno quickly stripped himself of his clothing- all except the boxers…

He stared into the mirror, at the reflection…

That wasn't him…

This was a boy who had no hope…or was broken and fragile. He was weak.

Did he ever truly want to end up like this?

No, never in a million years.

Now more than ever, he had to do it, he had to rid himself of the monster…

Even if it meant killing an "honorable" general.

He walked back to his discarded pants, where he retrieved some sliver scissors that he hid in his pocket. Yes, it was a long shot, but he figured that the silver haired man would be to busy destroying his dignity to notice an attack.

That was his plan, to stab him…like he always wanted too…

If Sephiroth was like any normal man.

Point was…and no one knew it until later on…Sephiroth was anything but normal.

--

Sephiroth was kissing Reno's neck- biting and sucking like he was some kind of meal. Reno almost gagged in disgust when he forced himself moan in mock pleasure. The general dragged his nails town Reno's young chest, causing blood to sprout out of the wounds, then trailed his tongue along the wounds, lapping up the remains of blood.

If you don't do it know, Reno, you may not do it ever.

Reno took a breath, and grabbed the scissor from under the pillow.

Don't stall!

Think of Cloud!

With all his strength, the little bit he had left in his worn body, he attempted to stab the general in the neck…hard…

But before the faithful scissors could do the damage he intended, the generals hand grabbed his wrist, halting the motion in mid flight.

Sephiroth's yellow eyes became ablaze with an unnatural rage- rage poor Reno had never seen. "Is this," Sephiroth hissed, "how you like it?" The grip on Reno's wrist tightened…the small bone began to tremble under the intense pressure…

The knife fell dramatically from his hand, followed by a whimper of terror…

"No, sir," Reno whimpered, "please don't…I can't."

"Can't what!"

A fire of fire collided with Reno's face, sending blood and tears to erupt..

Sephiroth laughed at his pupils display of fear, and smacked him again, and again…until the boys face was so black and blue, it was almost unrecognizable.

"You want to play rough?" He bellowed, "HUH?"

"No…I don't…please."

But he never stops…it doesn't matter how loud the screams of pain get, or how much blood stains the pure white walls. So he tore up Reno's flesh with the scissors once intended to harm him…screaming all the while, "Is this want you want?" When he was bored with the scissors, he beat his body till it was nothing but a limp heap of flesh…

He raped him hard and with no mercy; he tore through a young boys body as if it was nothing but a piece of trash.

Reno screamed for help. "Help me God!" He prayed and cursed and cried. No help came…no one even checked to see why a young child was screaming for mercy…

MERCY.

Mercy never came for the little red headed boy that night…either because people where to deaf to hear, or to stupid to care.

But that was the last time anyone was going to stop caring…

That was the last time he was going to steal another life.

I shouldn't have expected Reno to do the job…

That I was intended to do.

_Too bad destiny screws us all._


	5. You Can Sin,Or Spend the Night All Alone

Authors Note: I know it seems confusing, but everything will be made clear in the end. I guess you can say someone (who will be revealed at the end of this chapter) is telling them story, and everything in Italics (usually the last line of the chapter) is Reno re-telling the story to someone. 

**Chapter Five**

It wasn't Reno's fault for failing. I considered Reno a better man than I. I was too afraid to do the job myself, so instead I sent a little boy to do it- I played with his emotions, played with his heart, and all in an attempt to send him blindly into a cage with a ferocious lion. I heard the screams as I walked down the hall, I heard his cries for help, and his sobs of pain…but I got there too late. The deed was already done…

Reno laid on the bed, his face buried in the dirty blankets, sobbing like a baby. He was drenched in his own blood thanks to cuts and scratches Sephiroth inflicted on him. It was probably the second stupidest thing I had ever done in my life, but it was my fault he was in that horrible condition. I ran into the room, scooped up his frail body, and ran out- praying to whatever fucking God is laughing in heaven that Sephiroth wouldn't come out of the bathroom.

I slowly made my way down the hall, with the naked boy sobbing in my arms, dulling noting how no one even so much as glanced through the peep holes of their doors to see what the ruckus was about. They had stopped caring long ago- their hearts replaced with unapologetic apathy. I made a quick left at the end of the hall, and towards the only door that was graced with cold numbering. I kicked the door three times so that the owner would know it was me.

He swung the door open, emerging from the room with blue eyes a blazed with anger. He ran his fingers through his hair, tugging slightly as if to emphasis the frustration and anger that was eating away at his body.

"What the fuck happened?" He whispered harshly, as I pushed my self into the room, and laid Reno's bruised body on a bed.

"Rufus," I hissed, making sure he closed and locked the door before I continued, "What did you expect, he is only fifteen!"

"So? So what? You thought he was old enough to handle it!"

"Well clearly I was wrong!"

His big mouth snapped shut, and he didn't dare utter another word on the matter. I painfully looked away from Rufus, another little boy whose innocence was stolen, to Reno who began a series of painful coughs and gags. My fingers tentatively stroked his unruly red hair, despite the sick and twisted feeling that rose up like bile in my throat. I knew, the lease I could do in this situation, was try to sooth him as best I could.

"Are you ever afraid," Rufus suddenly said, as he lay some clothing on the bed for Reno, "that you are going to turn out like him?"

I juggled the question around my head for a few seconds, despite knowing the answer already. I was so weak, I didn't have to balls to admit, I could see myself turning into Sephiroth more and more everyday. How long did I have before I turned into a monster?

"Everyday," I said finally, earning a rough glare from Rufus. He suddenly made me feel dirty, so I roughly pulled my hand away from Reno, and stomped to the other side of the room.

I watched the blonde haired boy intently as he quickly healed and dressed Reno. The red head didn't move much, not even flinched when Rufus would put alcohol on the festering cuts. Passed out from the pain and humiliation- I remember that all too well. I may be twenty one, but I don't feel too much older than these boys. I am still a scared little fifteen year old student, under all these medals of a decorated SOLIDER. I have seen others, not as lucky as me, who quickly ended their lives once Sephiroth discarded them for younger boys. Maybe they were the lucky ones once you think about it. They will never grow up with the fear I have…

No. I won't grow up like that. He had to die so we all could live without fear, or pain, or anguish. We were born with the right to live…he took it away…we had to take it back.

"No more dilly dalling Rufus," I announced sternly, "If we are going to stop Sephiroth, we all have to come together and do it. One little boy can't kill off a monster as strong as him."

I could see Rufus' small body shake with the fear, "But…not everyone will give up their name- even the ones who know for sure have been raped by him."

"Well, who do we have so far…?"

The blonde took out a folded piece of paper from his pocket, using his nimble fingers to slowly open the tightly folded sheet. When fully opened, he took a second or two to examine the few names written in black ink- I could feel his own hesitation to read off the names…to betray the people he had coax into trusting him…

"There's only four names, other than me, you, Reno and Cloud," he began slowly, "Tomo, Alavro, Xavier, and Rhett. Their ages range from seventeen to twenty."

"There have to be more than that, Rufus."

"Those are the only four willing to give up their names. I almost caught three black eyes from the others who we suspected."

I clenched my fist, "Dammit. We don't have enough, and that's assuming Reno will be strong enough to try it again."

I could feel Rufus' cold blues eyes on me, "You know what we have to do right?"

Oh I did, I knew exactly what we had to do, but I wasn't going to like it. "We have to wake the dead right?"

It took Reno a day to fully open his dead green eyes, without abruptly shutting them…and screaming about how he was dead…I was beginning to think that he was too weak to go through the second half of the plan- which would leave us in quite the predicament. The whole reason why I choose Reno…why I thought he was the only one who could kill Sephiroth…because he was one of the luck ones, he found a place in that stone of a heart for real, untarnished love. Playing on that, I thought, he could muster up enough strength…well… no use dwelling on past mistakes. Time to correct them.

With Reno asleep, I was able to gather up the four others- it took some convincing but eventually they all agreed that it was time to stop Sephiroth. I told them to meet me in Rufus' room at six for the plan- that left me twelve hours to finally wake Cloud from his medically induced coma.

Anyway, while the doctors worked on Cloud, I went back to the room to check up on Reno and Rufus. To my surprise, Reno wasn't throwing a tantrum, and instead sat calmly on the bed as Rufus paced around nervously. The red head seemed too be way too calm for his own good…

But then he saw me, and his eyes changed from blank orbs, to little slits a blazed with anger. I knew what he was going to do next, and I allowed him. He stomped towards me, and punched me, hard, in the face, sending me stumbling towards the wall.

"You son of a bitch," he shouted, "You knew that was going to happen!"

I shook my head, "No I didn't, I honestly thought you could have handled it-"

"Well I couldn't! I am fucking fifteen year-"

"Since when have you allowed you age get in the way of what you desired?"

He stood straight, digging his hands into his skin to suppress the rage that surged within him freely. I couldn't blame him for hating me- but kicking my ass wasn't going to change his situation. He growled at me, and took his seat on the bed once again.

Rufus, who had been silent, decided to speak up, "What's the plan…"

Would I be an asshole further if I admitted my plan didn't exist? I had the people, I had the drive, but when I sat down to really think about what we could do, short of placing someone in a dangerous position- I came up empty. Sephiroth was stronger than us, when it came to both strength and respect- even Rufus, the son of the President, couldn't convince his father of Sephiroth's evil ways. We had to kill him, that much was obvious, but the only way we could possible do that, and get away with it, was too make it look like a suicide…

And how do you make a man who loves life too much throw himself out a window, or shoot himself in the head?

Well you have to break him.

"Give him a taste of his own medicine: do to him what he did to us," I announced, only to receiving puzzled glares from my younger counterparts.

"Are you smoking somethin'" Reno snapped, "You can't rape the willing."

"No," Rufus said, "But you can make him go insane…"

The shared the same sinister glint I had twinkling madly in my eyes. The evil part of us, the part of us that was begging to come out, began to rise and take over. We knew what we had to do now- what all eight of us had to do for ourselves, and for the other boys whose innocence was stolen.

And it wasn't going to be easy; we had to strip ourselves of morality and decency and ethics, and replace it all with sin, and death, and lust. It was a mix made for death. It was a beautiful tragedy, and it was going to shake up this campus. We were going to unlock our chains and beat Sephiroth with them..

Oh I could see the devious smiles that crept onto our faces- thinking already, we had won…

_And if he knew then, what we all know now…I swear Zack would have sooner killed himself…_


	6. Blood Dance

**Chapter Six**

I looked solemnly at the empty bed, as the nurses drenched in white quickly changed the bed sheets. I leaned against the door frame, waiting impatiently for the general to show his ugly face. I had called him fifteen minutes ago, in mock panic, to inform him of Cloud's "departure"- one would think he would rush to make sure his second favorite boy toy was still among the living. I guess I was giving the man too much credit. Sometimes I forget he isn't human.

Finally, he decided to show up. He casually walked down the hallway, winking at nurses the nurses who practically fainted upon laying eyes on him. Sephiroth wasn't that attractive…sure he had the chisel chest, long flowing hair, and piercing eyes…but he was scum. He looked like scum. He acted like scum. Or maybe I say that, because I see more of him than I ever wanted to before.

"Zackary," he cooed, and peered into the room where Cloud once laid, "So he is gone."

"Yes sir," I groaned, "about seven this morning. I called you as soon as I heard."

He sighed as if he gave a damn about the Cloud's wellbeing, "Well, tis a shame. He was a good boy."

"I hear they are sending him back to Sector 7. I don't know what we intend to tell the family-"

"Suicide," he shrugged.

"But…I don't think he should be remembered like that. Not to mention there will be questions, perhaps even lawsuits."

He glared at me scornfully, "So? They have nothing on us. Plus, why do you care about how he will be remembered."

"He was a little boy, Sephiroth."

His yellow eyes danced back to the bed. A sinister smile danced along his face, and I could practically here the disgusting thoughts than ran violently through his sinful head. It took every muscle in my body to restrain myself…I just wanted to kill him right then and there, and fuck the consequences.

"He grew up a long time ago," he said dreamily, "Long long time ago." Sephiroth turned on his heals, and started back towards the exit.

Should I be shocked? Probably not. Did he have a caring born in his body- how could he? He took young boy's virginity without a second thought. Call it a childish delusion of mine…I always thought deep down he cared about us…in his own way. That was his brainwashing- his way of manipulating us so we would always come back to him. We weren't stupid, just so young and desperate for attention. He gave us what we craved, but in a way that only shattered us even more.

I looked back at the bed…my own harsh memories started to flow in my head. Was my plan…was it truly an effort to spare more boys…or was it just revenge. Cold revenge.

--

The sun finally set on the sleepy city, and black ominous clouds engulfed the night sky as a warning for those with dark thoughts to watch their back. An angry thunder shook the faculty building, as lighting illuminated the night and outlined contorted faces among the clouds. Sephiroth had a late night- drinking up his rum and coke at the bar downstairs qualified as work in his eyes. We all knew he would be expecting Reno to show up at his door for another round of "training." Imagine his surprised when he saw me instead. I leaned against his door, wearing nothing more than black slacks, and an open white button down shirt. I felt dirty giving myself up to him- but it was my turn to prove my worth in his world.

When he spotted me against his door, his eyes instantly narrowed as if trying to figure out my true attentions. I used everything I learned from years as a SOLIDER to hide my true emotions, and only allow a mock needy expression to plague my face. When he finally deemed me safe, a small smirk danced along his face and he advanced towards me. I smiled despite the disgusting feeling that tortured my stomach

"Zack," he said, "Any particular reason why you are here?"

"What do you think," I chuckled.

"Well, I don't know…you want a promotion or something?" he pushed his door open, "Or do you just want me?"

"Damn, and I thought I was being coy," I snickered, and walking into his cursed room. I tried to swallow back the bile that demanded to erupt upon walking into my nightmare. I had to stay tough- just for a little while longer.

No sooner did I take in the musty air of stale sex slither it's way into my nose, did Sephiroth had be pinned against the wall with his vile lips clashed against my own. I swallow the puke again and returned the kiss. While engulfed in the kiss, he pushed our tangled bodies towards the bed, pushing my body hard against the mattress. With a growl he pulled away from my lips, and began a vicious assault on my neck that included biting down so hard on my flesh he drew blood. Instinct told me to push him away, but the shimming blue eyes peeking from the closet told me a little while longer. A little while longer.

The lights went out…

--

Neutral POV

Enveloped in darkness suddenly, Sephiroth moved away from the boy that laid trembling under him, searching viciously for a candle. "I want to see the look on your face," he cooed, "I want to see you finally give yourself too me after years of trying to resist me."

The generators finally kicked in, and light returned to the general's room. However, the boy once so eager to have Sephiroth was missing from his place on the bed. His thin silver eyebrows knitted together, as he briefly scanned the room for the site of the raven haired young man. He cautiously walked about the room…opening the door to the bathroom to make sure his young prey wasn't playing a sneaky game of hide and go seek.

His patience began to wear thin and in a fit of rage he started to trash the room. He screamed out Zack's name angrily as he tore the sheets off the bed, and tipped over the night table. It was evident his patience wasn't the only thing was losing- his sanity seemed to have been slowly dwindling over the years of taking boys.

The lights went out again. A rough curse came from Sephiroth's side as he stomped towards one of the only surviving draws for a flash light. Eight pairs of eyes shined again the moonlight in the dark room as Sephiroth was engrossed in finding light. Silver scissors glimmered against the eyes, and floated towards the general. With a single swoosh the sharpen scissors came down on the "honorable" general's back- screams and crimson blood erupted from the general.

He swung around, his eyes plagued with the alien look of pain as his body came in contact with the red head he almost killed. His eyes widen when he said the blank face of the boy…

"Just say," the boy chuckled menacingly, "You got it during training."

The general seethed with anger and brought his hand to slap the boy. His wrist was caught by a new boy, Tomo, and he was flung towards the bed. Someone ripped out the scissors from his back sending another wave of screams from Sephiroth's cursed mouth. He picked himself off the bed, and stomped around- now looking for the missing red head and the fiery Tomo.

Xavier and Rhett tackled the silver haired man to the ground and proceeded to land punches on the strong body they had grown to despised. In retaliation, Sephiroth attempted to push the boys off him, only to have his built arms pinned down by Zack. The raven haired man chucked at the now screaming general…

"Feels bad huh?"

Sephiroth gathered up the inhuman strength that laid within him, and threw the small Zack across the room. Zack hit the wall and fell to the floor- chuckling. Sephiroth turned his attention to the other two boys, and quickly threw their bodies off him as well.

"Have you gone insane," the general growled, as he arose from the ground. He towered over the three boys, a feral look in his cold yellow eyes. His face was cursed with cuts and bruises, and blood dripped slowly out of a large gash across his forehead and the wound in his back.

A creak from the closet grabbed him attention. He immediately swung around only to be met with the cold blue eyes of a boy long past. The small boy, who wore the face of an aged adult, emerged from the closet.

"Cloud," the general gasped, the first time showing fear in his eyes, "I thought you were-"

The general advanced towards Cloud, his hand reaching for the boy as it touching him would prove it all an illusion. He was feet away from the no longer afraid boy, when another body collided into him- Reno with all his strength flung at Sephiroth while his guard was down. The silver haired man was up against a cracked glass window; the pain from his wounds began to take the toll on his body. All eight boys appeared in front of him…the lightly illuminated the dead glow in their eyes. "You can't kill me," he laughed, "You can't ever kill me. Even if I don't walk among this dead land, or breathe this stench called air, I will always be alive- in your heads, your minds. Until you blow your fucking brains out, I won't be a memory!"

Filled with rage, the eight boys rushed Sephiroth together, pushing him against the window. More blood erupted, screams of pain echoed through the room. The window…finally cracked, and Sephiroth's body limply fell to the cement sidewalk below.

Blood dripped out of his mouth as his last gasp for breath were lost in the puddle of blood in his mouth. His dead eyes stared at the eight boys who looked down below at him- forever imprinting his memory in their heads.

One more one they walked out of the room until Cloud and Reno were the only two that remained. They managed to drag their eyes away from the scene of blood and gore, and looked deeply at each other. Without a word, they walked to the opened door and stared into the hall way. There was nothing more to say- silence had said enough. Reno made his decision…Cloud accepted his mission.

They walked out of the room...and walked their separate ways.


	7. Acceptance

A/N: Last chapter of the story. Hoope you all enjoyed it despite the harsh topic.

**Chapter Seven:  
Acceptance **

-Years Later: After the Events of Advent Children

Reno put down his rum and coke, staring down Cloud to make sure the young man didn't crack under the pressure. He told him a mouthful…basically told him once again, his life was nothing but a lie, and that his greatest nightmare stole more than the people he cherished. Cloud tried to keep his tough composure, and took a seat at the bar, between Reno and Rufus.

"Everything went down hill after that," Reno continued, "Yours and Zack's memories were wiped- since they very well couldn't have Sephiroth's new best friends hating his guts-"

"Sephiroth on the other hand," Rufus interrupted, "He was infused with more jenova cells to repair his body."

"I joined with Rufus and the rest of the Turks. The rest is history."

Their eyes focused on Cloud once again, who had retreated to holding his head in his worn out hands. His mind was racing with a million scattered thoughts that cut him like scissors against paper. His mentor, his enemy, stole his innocence, stole his friends, and stole his identity. Should he have been so surprised though? Deep down he knew there was something more to Sephiroth plan. Sephiroth choose him to torture, him out of the world, and for what…because Cloud at one brief point tried to stop him from destroying the world. No. There was always that sinister glint in Sephiroth's tortured yellow eyes that screamed something more than just mommy issues. That glint…was made for Cloud.

The two young men waited for Cloud to say something- anything to prove he mind was still on Earth, and hadn't gone on a one way trip to LaLa Land.

"I guess I asked for it," he mumbled, "I told you I wanted to know everything despite how horrible it is."

Reno cautiously placed his hand on the blonde's now trembling shoulder, "You'll learn to deal with the nightmares, the memories, and that dirty feeling."

"You are one on of the strong ones," Rufus sighed, bringing his gaze from Cloud, to the mulititude of alcoholic beverages that were calling his name, "We all know what happened to Zack- and he was lucky, he died not nothing- but the rest, the four boys…they weren't so lucky. Rhett and Tomo put a bullet through their hands to stop the memories. The other two died in war. Which just leaves the three of us."

"We come here once a month to drown our sorrows in drinking. Sometimes we talk about what happen, sometimes we just sit in silence. It's the only thing that has kept us sane all these years."

Cloud lifted his head from his hands, and stared at his once best friend in disbelief. "So you just get stupid drunk to run away from the truth."

"No," Reno shook his head, "We swallow the truth- alcohol just proves to be a good chaser."

"You are welcomed to join us," Rufus said, "It's better than sitting at home with all those pretty sharp things."

Cloud juggled the thought in his head. Spend time with the two people you had thought you hated, to deal with the truth of the person you've always hated. Cloud could hear Tifa's bellowing voice scold him for drinking with Shinra- hell he could hear the onslaught of harsh words from Cid and Barret. But did they even understand? Could they ever understand him, the way the red headed Turk and the arrogant president can.

Cloud's blue eyes focused on the barkeep, who annoyingly waited for his order, "…Beer."

"Welcome to the club Chocobo boy," Reno smiled.

"Yes," Rufus laughed drunkenly, "I expect club dues by tomorrow. I take cash or cookies, whatever's clever."

Cloud allowed a shy smile grace his face, despite the horror of what happened becoming real. They were right, he needed this time with them- a time to mourn, and rebuild the dignity that was destroyed. Even if their methods weren't exactly conventional…but this was a different world they lived in. Psychologist and psychiatrist wouldn't exactly know how to treat an aggressive Turk, a brooding hero, and most of all the President of Shinra CORP. They had to rely on each other, and their fragile sanities.

Cloud took a sip of his beer, and threw Reno a shy glance, "Reno…"

"Yeah man."

"What about us?"

Reno's bloodshot green eyes danced to Cloud, "That entirely depends."

Cloud raised a single blonde eyebrow, "On what?"

"On how much you actually want to remember."

"Oh Reno," Rufus laughed suddenly, "such the fucking romantic."

The blonde ex-SOLIDER and the red head exchanged an ancient glance- the kind they used to throw each other while in class or during the real training. It was the kind of glance that spoke volumes as much as it only uttered a single word silently. It was the glance that started it all…

And hopefully would be the true end of their horrible nightmare…

Of what really happened during training.

The End.


End file.
